The Book of CORN

2008-03-07T20:14:00.000-08:00

The Guy in the Glass
by Dale Wimbrow, (c) 1934

When you get what you want in your struggle for pelf,
And the world makes you King for a day,
Then go to the mirror and look at yourself,
And see what that guy has to say.

For it isn't your Father, or Mother, or Wife,
Who judgement upon you must pass.
The feller whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the guy staring back from the glass.

He's the feller to please, never mind all the rest,
For he's with you clear up to the end,
And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the guy in the glass is your friend.

You may be like Jack Horner and "chisel" a plum,
And think you're a wonderful guy,
But the man in the glass says you're only a bum
If you can't look him straight in the eye.

You can fool the whole world down the pathway of years,
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears
If you've cheated the guy in the glass.

The bizniz End of PAIN

2007-12-21T10:58:00.000-08:00

ok...the foreign dude just hit me in the back of the head.....let it be knownst......"IT IS ON"

Can't believe its not Jesus

2007-12-06T18:29:00.000-08:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gq01UYiMyHg

Hummin Da Funk.

2007-11-08T09:37:00.000-08:00

Hmmmmm..
Rollin' down the road Goin' nowhere
Guitar packed in the trunk
Somewhere 'round mile marker 112
Papa started hummin' da funk
I got a jones in my bones
Before we know, we be singing this melody
Stopped the car, pulled out the guitar
Halfway to New Orleans
Said take me ho-whoa-oh-ome
Take me ho-whoa-oh-ome
Could feel the sun about to rise
When I realized we had nothing to fear
It's just me and my daddy and a kid named Cope
makin music that nobody would hear
And then the sun let up and it spent the night
Spillin' over our jubilee
10,000 cars by the side of the road Groovin' far as the eye can see
Said take me ho-whoa-oh-ome
Take me ho-whoa-oh-ome
Said take me ho-whoa-oh-ome

Said this greyhound is delta bound mama
Baby boy done finally found
Said this greyhound is delta bound mama
Baby boy done finally found his way ho-whoa-oh-ome
Said take me ho-whoa-oh-ome
Here we go.....

Hot damn you should've felt the groove
Like I was swimmin' in a sea o' soul
The sun was risin' and the day was hot
And we all about to lose contro
lMy daddy turned his face up towards the sky
And I knew that there was nothin' to lose
I felt the crowd breathe in and I closed my eyes
And we disappeared into the groove
Said take me ho-whoa-oh-ome
Straight from the water children
Straight from the water

You don't know nothin' about this!
Take me home, home, home, home

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pV_eeDKzqlM

9 isn't a magic number.

2007-11-02T07:18:00.000-07:00

ITs been a year. 128-119.
I improved over 15 schmucks since last year.
am i happy about this no...
am i happy about other things....hell no.
refer to the post a year ago in october.

http://www.longdrivegolf.co.uk/index.php?option=com_wrapper&Itemid=54

IF Tomorrow Never Comes

2007-10-12T11:51:00.000-07:00

if tomorrow never comes
i wont give a damn
if tomorrow never comes
i will not be afraid to meet my maker
just the way that i am
you cant prove anything
but one thing is true
if you can steal from me
i can steal from you

any kind of heaven every body doesnt get in
wont seem like a heaven to me
they tell you that the garden of eden was perfect
but you couldnt even eat off the apple tree
and for heavens sakes look out for that snake
lying to your woman constantly
adam must have scratched his head
looked up and said
lord this just isnt doing it for me

if tomorrow never comes
i wont give a damn
if tomorrow never comes
i dont want to be afraid
to come and meet you just the way that i am
i cant do anything im dying too
if tomorrow never comes
tonight will have to do

i say i dont ever claim to know whats going on around here
i dont even know where im from
i know where im going when i get to where im going
what im doing when i get done
you tell me im forgiven if i need to be
i say permission ought to come that easily
im piling cores up underneath this apple tree
singing oh lord have mercy on me

if tomorrow never comes
and tonight is all i got
if tomorrow never comes
i dont want to be afraid
to come and meet you just the way that im not
cant do anything
and then you die
judge the judgemental and what am i?

either way im every guy i ever tried not to be
i want everything as good as it gets
ive learned nothing but that there is another sun rise coming
all but one of the times it sets

and if tomorrow never comes
tomorrow never comes
if tomorrow never comes
tomorrow never comes
if we were all good people
we could work in perfect rythmn
if worms had daggers
birds wouldnt fuck with them

THE USED

2007-09-04T12:10:00.000-07:00

He wears his heartsafety pinned to his backpack
His backpack is all that he knows
Shot down by strangers
whose glances can cripple
the heart and devour the soul

All alone he turns to stone
while holding his breath half to death
Terrified of whats inside
to save his life he crawls
like a worm from a bird
crawls like a worm from a bird

Out of his mind away
pushes him whispering
must have been out of his mind
mid-day delusions of pushing this out of his head
maybe out of his mind

All alone he turns to stone
while holding his breath half to death
Terrified of whats inside
to save his life he
crawls like a worm from a bird
crawls like a worm from a bird

All he knows
If he can't relieve it it grows
and so it goes
he crawls like a worm
crawls like a worm from the bird

Out of his mind awaypushes him whispering
must have been out of his mind

All alone he turns to stone
while holding his breath half to death

Terrified of whats inside
to save his life he crawls
like a worm from a bird
crawls like a worm from a bird

All alone
he's holding his breath half to death
Terrified to save his life
he crawls like a worm
Crawls like a worm from a bird
crawls like a worm from a bird
crawls like a worm from a bird
crawls like a worm
crawls like a worm
crawls like a worm from a bird

sweet song..check it out on you tube

Chicken Butt

2007-08-21T10:24:00.000-07:00

You know what. I am ok. Job is fine. Golf if fine. Apartment is fine, as is life. I should complain less. I'm still going to point out things disadvantageous to society in an attempt to put a funny spin on things. Sometimes you just hear stories that stop you in your tracks. And you realize, "how can i continue to live, with my head up my arse?" I'm just thankful I realized it was up there. For now

OH...excuse me..am i typing out loud?

2007-08-09T08:55:00.000-07:00

So, I’ve made it to the 8th floor now. Its actually pretty sweet. Brighter light, no views of the smog, and I actually have bigger windows to look out of now. I’m thinking great, no worries. But the cubicle world has reared its ugly head. And attached to it....is the dude I’ve ranted about in a previous post. Yes, the little guy whose social graces didn’t get off the boat. That luggage must be on cruise ship somewhere off the left coast of Alaska by now. And the bad part about the cubicle? Well, This guy, This guy, This Guy! Loves and I mean Loves to Read OUT LOUD? Are you kidding me? STFU.......And its not like he’s reading some sort of novel or literary work here. It’s a patent about rocket surgery or some bs. I’m thinking mind coma by 11:15. The worst part, there is a thin layer of balsa wood between me and this guy. But I’m ok. I’m the king of clearing my throat in that awkward manner in which it speaks...”Shut up, or I will shut you up”
Yeah, I know ...Patience Prudence.....but I think I'm allowed one good WTF a week.

3:15 PM

2007-07-27T13:17:00.000-07:00

This is the opening song of a show on the radio...my day vastly improves when it comes on.

Grab your coat and get your hat
Leave your worry on the doorstep
Just direct your feet
To the sunny side of the street

Can't you hear a pitter pat
And that happy tune is your step
Life can be so sweet
On the sunny side of the street

I used to walk in the shade
With those blues on parade
But I'm not afraid
This rover crossed over

If I never have a cent
I'll be rich as Rockefeller
Gold dust at my feet
On the sunny side of the street

I used to walk in the shade...

Told yas

2007-07-24T15:21:00.000-07:00

Sooo...I can pretty much see the future. That big thing on the horizon, well, I lost my swank office on the 28th floor...yeah. The one that looks over west downtown St. Louis. The office (or at least the view) that everyone takes for granted everyday. It tis no more. Instead, i was banished to a secretary's bay on the 27th floor for two weeks and then the 8th floor permanently. I'm starting to think they moved me down there for a better chance of survival. They prolly figured that when the chuck me out the window i won't have near the head trauma as if they were to throw me out of the 28th floor. Least i won't bounce as high...

But I'm not even that sad or even mad at all. Change is good. Sometime people fear change. Like in Wayne's World when Garth refers to fearing 'change', then he smacks the hell out of that electronic hand with a hammer. funny.

Last Time I saw a mouth like yours it had a hook in it.

2007-07-18T07:55:00.000-07:00

Well,
I don’t post much....because as my title of this little blog states.... “Basically a chronicle of everyday observations that i find amusing or disadvantageous to society, and bad jokes....” Well, lately it seems that every thing I come across is disadvantageous to society and I can’t type that much and All I’ve been hearing lately are bad or old jokes. So, I write before you with a collection of thoughts in hopes of jumpstarting my day at work and to clear the creative cob webs that definitely are accumulating.
Long Drive Schedule for the next decade starting with next week:
July 27 - Dallas
August 3 - Mansfield, OHIO
August 10 - Detroit, MI
August 17 - Hooksett, New Hampshire
August 24 - Canneaut, PA
September 7 - Rockford, Il
September 14 - STL
September 21 - Dallas
So I’m never around. Which is great. That means I don’t have to take my job with me when I go home. I usually don’t anyway but every time I leave it feels like a mini vacation. Although, I usually compete so hard that I don’t even firkin relax. But that’s a choice I guess. There are also cons that come with that schedule. I miss a lot of people. This little insignificant Niche sport that I choose to compete in is only relevant to my little head therefore a lot of people can’t share it with me. Again, that’s a choice. Some people are scared to be apart of it in fears that they will be labeled wrongly. My answer is...get over yourself.
SO work sucks. Someone always says that I’m spinning my wheels. Well, I’m starting to believe it. This worlds sucks because people work for a means to an end...got food on table...roof over head...gas in the tank for piece of crap or a brand new piece of crap....oh...did I mention I get a 401k and insurance...my problems are solved..(sarcasm).
Its so cliché to point out that people usually don’t work in areas that they are passionate about....but I really would take less money to work around something that even remotely involved golf. Even ballwasher..and for all of you that took that as an innuendo...can go wash your own balls....
But again...as sometimes the job gets boring difficult or unpleasant it tends to reveal what I need to be doing with my life. I help the newbies in the office sometimes. The ones that are temporarily below me while they acquire their law degrees. They come to me for help...and sometimes I wish I was their professor so I could fail them on the spot...not for lack of IQ...but lack of social graces and them pushing the limits of being a cognizant human being. It makes me want to vomit like one of those revolving sprinkler systems that the neighbor likes to put by my car...good thing its not a new piece of crap or I’d have water spots.
But seriously, I help a couple people out in the office that just don’t get it. There was a time I didn’t get it. But then again I didn’t go around to my superiors and ask them “what have you done today for mankind?”. Yeah, I got that question the other day. My answer....I paid for parking, I paid for coffee, gave the homeless dude a quarter, held the door open for someone who didn’t say thank you, held the elevator door for someone who didn’t say thank you, gave inventors some insight on patent protection, paid for lunch, didn’t flip anyone off on the drive home, and paid the cleaning lady.
And this schmuck wants to know what I did for mankind because he has a masters degree in engineering and uses the Koran? Can I get a large WTF? I’m no Sista Thereasa but come on. It’s true. There are social barriers. And a complete lack of IQ will never knock one down. And this guy isn’t from round here if you couldn’t tell.
But back to my point of necessity is the mother of invention or in my case my problems at work reveal what I’m good at. And its actually talking to people and not making them feel like they just got off the boat. I entertain this guy, I bite, I give in, I visit his opinions. And somedays its about topics that I have no business defending. Like Christianity. But when people start throwing Mecca around like its Cancun on spring break I pipe up. Or in this case...why radical attacks are justified. The lawyer in me speaks up. I say look bucko....My father doesn’t send me out to get killed for the good of the family...My god sends his son to die for all of mankind. Now I’m not gonna sit here act like I preach that every Sunday because I don’t. And some people disrespect me because of it. I’m dealing with it. But like any decent engineer or lawyer I need a case or a hint of proof. I’m I must say I get little more proof all the time.
I don’t come across that brutal though. I actually take the time and coach this little guy along. And he said thank you for it. Regardless of what I did it took massive patience. Therefore I need to be doing something that involves me socially and they can utilize whatever it is I’m good at to benefit the group. But dammit the Priesthood said I was too good looking or something and all the nuns would quit...so I digress.
But overall stuff in general is good. I feel like there is something massive on the horizon about to happen. This is a good and bad feeling.

Squirrel Nut Zippers...WTF... awesome

2007-05-20T09:31:00.000-07:00

In the afterlife
You could be headed for the serious strife
Now you make the scene all day
But tomorrow therell be hell to pay
People listen attentively
I mean about future calamity
I used to think the idea was obsolete
Until I heard the old man stamping his feet.

This is a place where eternally
Fire is applied to the body
Teeth are extruded and bones are ground
Then baked into cakes which are passed around.

Beauty, talent, fame, money, refinement
Top skill and brain
But all the things you try to hide
Will be revealed on the other side.

Now the d and the a and the m
And the n and the a
And the t and the i-o-n
Lose your face, lose your name
Then get fitted for a suit of flame

and by the way..refer back to a previous post...add these two rantings....

I Do Not Work at Macy's

And No....I do not know how much that shirt Costs......

schmucks

Great Day...

2007-03-16T07:03:00.000-07:00

Yeah so im song happy Big Whoop wanna fight about it...this little nugget below is from the Bob and Tom Show....(bobandtom.com) and is a great song to start the day off with. I've heard this song for about 3 years now and it keeps getting better every time i hear it....

Have you ever had one of those days
When nothing goes right?
You're wife starts bitching
About whatever it was
She was bitching about last night
So you escape into the bathroom
Just to sit there on your throne
But after you finish your business
The toilet paper's gone
Well it's a great day
For me to whup somebody's ass
It's a bad day
So you better get off my back
You might get cold-cocked
If you cross my path
Cause it's a great day
For me to whup somebody's ass
Well I was running late for work
So I poured me some coffee to go
And just before I had a flat tire
I spilled it all over my clothes
When the highway patrolman pulled up
I thought that help was on the way
But when he saw the tire tool in my hand
He shot me with pepper spray
Well it's a great day
For me to whup somebody's ass
It's a bad day
So you better get off my back
You might get cold-cocked
If you cross my path
Cause it's a great day
For me to whup somebody's ass
When I finally made it to work
I was 15 minutes late
I told my boss about the flat tire
But he fired me anyway
So here I am out in the parking lot
Just waiting by his Corvette
I'm gonna' give him a goodbye present
That he never will forget
Well it's a great day
For me to whup somebody's ass
It's a bad day
So you better get off my back
You might get cold-cocked
If you cross my path
Cause it's a great day
For me to whup somebody's ass

IF Winston Churchill was in a Band...this is what he would sing

2007-03-07T11:53:00.000-08:00

Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone sinsAnother day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you doAnd even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along

So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold
Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong

Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along When everything is wrong, we move along
Along, along, along

When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through

Right back what is wrong
We move along.......

ur gonna have to research some winston churchill to understand this...

Even a FOO Tawn would Doo...

2007-02-27T07:09:00.000-08:00

You know that point in your life when you realize that the house that you grew up in isn't really your home anymore? Even though you have some place where you can put your stuff that idea of home is gone.
You won't have this feeling again until you create a new idea of home for yourself, you know, for your kids, for the family you start, it's like a cycle or something. Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place.

I sit on the floor and bang pots and pans together for entertainment...i have a huge place with no furniture...and no cable.
I find myself reading more and going to bed earlier. I might be 45 years old...which is ok cuz damn i look good.
Winter can leave any day now...or maybe i just need to go where Winter is something you read about in newsweek.

An "Angerwhich" with Cheese

2007-01-17T10:45:00.000-08:00

I can explain it..but i knew this already without knowing these words ?

1. "do not let the sun go down on your anger"

2. "The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength,
But the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger."
and "The best of you are those who are slow to anger and swift to cool down...
Beware of anger, for it is a live coal on the heart of the
descendants of Adam."

so leads me to the question, what does this make the people that are the ones being looked at with anger? Those people might be even sadder than the people having any amount of anger...

oh well

SOME DAY

2006-12-13T13:22:00.000-08:00

Great song by Shinedown...check them out. They rock in a mild way. Saw them live....i know people

Someday, when I'm older
And they never know my name
Somehow, if I'm honest
I can never feel ashamed
Maybe I was wrong to
Hold you up so high
Now I know I've lost you
To the feelings I kept insideI don't know if it felt like
I wanted you here, the way that I wanted you last time
We're not on the same page, you don't even know me
Cause you never took the time
Someday, when it's over
And you never show your face
I hope you'll remember
How I tried to make you a place
And so now, I move on
To keep my piece of mind
In someway, I've failed you
But I just ran out of time
I don't know if it felt like
I wanted you here, the way that I wanted you last time
We're not on the same page, you don't even know me
Cause you never took the time
I'm not sure that you hear me
I'm not sure that you look at me the same
I will always be attached to you
But I'm never gonna feel the same
I don't know if it felt like
I wanted you here, the way that I wanted you last time
We're not on the same page, you don't even know me
Cause you never took the time
No, you never took the time
Someday, when I'm older...

just a song..and good

128-19=

2006-10-29T19:52:00.000-08:00

109...thats how many schmucks i improved over from last year at this year's Remax WORLD long drive finals.....is that a lot..yes..am i happy about this....hell no.....am i happy about some stuff...hell yes

Pour some Journey on Me

2006-07-25T20:14:00.000-07:00

Ok....I attended the Journey/Def Leppard Concert. or should I say the Def Leppard/Journey Concert. Because def leppard comes before Journey alphabetically, also because contrary to unpopular belief..journey would lose in a death match to Def Leppard...which i can't even believe I'm comparing the two. Its like Coach Ditka vs. Hurricane Ditka. Stuff like this is what causes ripples in the Space Time Continuum (sp? sorry linz). But as I rocked out to a full set by Journey with the lead singer being the backup to the backup to the backup's third cousin, I felt complete...it wasn't a religious band, it wasn't anything big or spiritual at all...it was bigger. It wasn't the content as much as the production and what it actually was.....simply rockin out to songs in which only 10 people on the planet can sing. Also, the third cousin dude happen to be number 10, and he also looked like a creepy version of Justin Guarini off the first season of American Idol. Which is even more creepier in itself that there is a weirder lookin dude than that guy. As I stand there after one of the best concerts I've ever seen ( the only actually)..(yeah im lame), and after "Don't stop Believin'", I'm thinking...def leppard is the headliner?...yeah ...and I'm ugly. All of the usher guys were saying Journey was the best concert they've seen all year. Expectations were low...which come to find out i should have listened to Journey's encore and career song "Don't stop Believin" because Def Leppard mopped the stage with they're Chest Hair and Crazy Cool Medallions.

Def Leppard...ageless..timeless...shameless...armless..kingless..kind of like that first cup of Folgers' Crystals in the morning. I highly recommend them. The guitar is such a distinct sound..unlike any other that I've heard in my lacking music catalogue. I still have the sense to go see journey and def lep in the same night though.

This much rocking in one night. It ought to be handed out in the mail with samples of Tide. Are you geddon it? Armageddon it.....and the Tea and Scrumpets after the show were highly delectable..those English...who knew

toad the wet sprocket is the dog's bollocks

2006-07-03T09:05:00.000-07:00

Nothing's so loudAs hearing when we lie
The truth is not kindAnd you've said neither am IBut the air outside so soft is saying everything
Everything
All I want is to feel this way
To be this close,
to feel the same
All I want is to feel this way
The evening speaks,
I feel it say...
Nothing's so cold
As closing the heart when all we need
Is to free the soul
But we wouldn't be that brave
I knowAnd the air outside so soft, confessing everything
Everything
And it won't matter now
Whatever happens to me
Though the air speaks of all we'll never be
It won't trouble me
And it feels so closeLet it take me inLet it hold me soI can feel it say...

Soles are wearin thin

2006-05-31T20:23:00.000-07:00

So...this guy walks into a chinese restaurant and wants a table...The host says.."Ah very good, we full be about 10 mina, Hava seat at ta bar" The man sits down and the bar tender asks " Can I get you uh drink?" The man says " Yes, How bout a Stoli with a Twist?" The bartender says..." Ah yes very good....Once upon a time there were FOUR little pigs".....im sorry but thats is funny..dont like it? well people without souls tend to laugh less. :)

WE all wear masks....statistically speakin

2006-05-03T19:06:00.000-07:00

for a good joke inserted here "..." call me...we'll chat

Balance

2006-04-17T19:19:00.000-07:00

I hit golf balls today for a charity tournament. Its really hard to have a better day than i had. I made money for something i love and i raised money for kids that don' t have every day neccessities (sp) like toothpaste and deoderant.

I got off of work a half day to hit golf balls and i help someone else other than myself. Getting away from work especially on a monday seems pretty awesome but Petty compared to not having toothpaste. But i guess the point is "to each his/her own". Which sounds elitist or selfish in a way. But, some of the people i met today on a golf course at 1:00 in the afternoon on a monday are just down right selfish, self important, ignorant, richer than king solomon's third cousin, lifeless, confused people ive ever met in my whole life...im just glad i got a piece of their pie.

Ummm...money pie tastes good.

beetlegeuse...beetlegeuse....geetlebeuse....whoa (joey lawrence voice)..almost said it..

2006-03-30T20:17:00.000-08:00

Beetlegeuse..(sp?)....anyhoo...watched this movie the other night...all of you need to watch it again and appreciate it. Its a really good movie. Ive seen it 167 times...and it keeps gettin funnier every time i see it! Spitchoo! gonna save that fur later...

Anyway, This is SPINAL TAP is also worth reviewing. It goes to eleven so therefor....you should watch it...because it goes to eleven.

And Swingers...because it is so000 money and it doesn't even know it.

and watch this

go to www.youtube.com
and search " guitar90" and click on anything that says "pachebel Canon in D" and watch....do it...do it...im the lighting Fixture King of Texas for cryin out LOUD...do it...do it....

Gimme W-A-L-*-M-A-R-T.....

2006-02-17T16:24:00.000-08:00

SO if you looke down this page you will see an entry entitled "Jobs". That was about people mistaking me for someone who works somewhere when i actually dont....well this is about the same gorsh dern thing..

People..let me break it down in layperson term....

I ....Dont....Work...AT ......F'n.........Walmart

I was in there the other day buying swank thangs for my swank apartment...(reach my publicist and she'll set up a tour for you...) and 5 count'em 5 morons asked me where something was located in the store. Not asking to be friendly or i looking like a guy that might know what is actually happening inside that

illegal alien job supplying
devilish mom and pop killin,
economy boostin,
daughter cheatin,
blue smock wearin,
5 gallon bucket of mayonaise'n (the light kind),
bourgeiose,
addictin of a store.

But they asked because i Looked liked i worked there.

Clothes i Had on until later that night when the pizza dilivery GIRL came over:

Carhartt frikin pants, and a T-shirt. Lets just say i was screaming walmart employee in that get up...

QUestions they asked:

Do you know where the toasters are? Reply- In the toaster isle

Do you know where the extension cords are. Reply - By the hygiene products...the feminine kind

Do you know where the crack spakle is? Reply - In my shorts

Do you know where the 5/8 Claw Hammer Wrench Torque Converters are....Reply- Yes I do.

And the 5th and final Q was ....Do you know (cut them off here)....Reply - No...but your mom does!

Then i left...and found 5 dollars in the parking lot.

2 to the Thrizzle

2006-01-16T19:55:00.000-08:00

Yah...birthdays are overrated...unlike the bowling shoes i received a few days back from my sister. The redness...blueness...grayness...the cirlce with size 16 in it...just reaks of freaking amazingness. I love um. I dont know a lot of avid bowlers though.
But back to my point about bdays. Its right up there with new years eve. Theres one every year, nothing happens that didn't happen to any other joe, so it doesnt make for good story telling. The random nights are the ones worth remembering because more stuff seems to happen unplanned. This is a cliche thought..but its been happening alot lately. SO i guess the moral of my story my disciples...is....don't plan crap...because the planning is usually more fun than the end result. Kinda like fishing trips when you dont catch anything but slurs from seasoned anglers about your sucky boat named "Tune A. Boat" not clever at all.."get the hell of the lake!"..someone with a bass pro hat yells.

Back again...i had a planned night tonight...not fun at all. But one reoccurring thing is happening. The company is subpar or maybe its me, regardless plans suck. Plans can be broken, randomness can't. Plans take time, randomness doesnt. Plans exclude people, randomness doesnt. Plans are lame because you know what will happen, randomness anything could happen.
Plans suck, randomness doesn't.

I gotta go...my seat of my pants is leaving and i have a one way ticket to paradise.

If you want to bowl,,call and we'll make plans...not!

Graduating is for suckers

2005-12-06T08:36:00.000-08:00

MY last week of class *tear* *sniff* *flatulate*... but anyhoo...I just bought the "Girls of Mizzou Swimsuit Calendar".....for my uncle's gun club. There's nothing like a bunch of over 55 year old men with guns mulling over the thought that they might have a chance with one of the freshman, sophmores, or juniors at MU. Heck, I thought I even had a chance with ms february..i mean they obviously had to make this one february because of the 28 days thing...but alas turns out feb. was already seeing ms november's ex (who is a tool). They people who made this calendar approached me for the "man of mizzou fully clothed but still really really really ridulously good looking calendar" they wanted me to be every frikin month. I regretfully declined.
seriously...no im joking....no really...nah....but yes.....ok it was someone else...but it could of been
d

I just spilled coffee in my CORTCH

2005-11-30T08:13:00.000-08:00

Not really i just like the word cortch. My sister said that word this weekend and willy blew diet cherry coke out his norse..i mean nose....they have a secret frat language thats very funny and elitist.

Anyone that would like to write a 20 page report for me can reach my publicist immediately.

Jobs

2005-11-13T21:24:00.000-08:00

I was just in Laughlin Nevada...being exceptional...and winning cash and tv time...but if none of that happened its good to know that i can easily get a job when i graduate...you know jobs..nothing i'd call a career but lets just say i could have an extensive collection of name tags and hair-nets. Let me explain. The clothes I wear might not be the most fashionable because i must go with what fits my lankyness. From comments made this past week i could hold these jobs without even signing up.
#1- Laughlin Ranch Employee: Its amazing what blank pants and shiny shoes and a red shirt with an unidentified logo on my grossly large left pec can lead people to believe. and i quote "Excuse me sir, where is the administration office? Oh i though you worked here" hilarious
#2 Laughlin Ranch Valet Parker: Again, See description of #1 with a black shirt and i quote " Sir can i get my Car now" I got yer car right here for ya...tom o'leery and jack johnson.
#3 Tom Roskos- See desciption of 1 & 2, Tom Roskos...and pinnacle long drive team member, and i quote from an 8 yr old kid "Hey Tom Roskos....bye Tom Roskos" thats it...he thought I was tom roskos...I'm not tom roskos.

Bridges

2005-10-13T21:02:00.000-07:00

i like this quote
" The more bridges i burn...the quicker i will have my own island"

willy tinsley

"Ilse de muerte...a place that can't be found except by those who already know where it is"
POC

Deflowered...I blog now

2005-10-06T20:51:00.000-07:00

testes..testes....1..2..3?
I joined the blog world so i can comment on linz's posts. wanna fight about it